Imagine living in a world where everyone looked the same, thought the same, and behaved in similar ways. That is what our world would be like if there was no culture. Culture is one of the most amazing things we have in this world. It provides different practices, traditions, behaviors and overall diversity. Culture should be something that is celebrated but is often times pushed back against.
We as humans have a tendency to stick around people who share the same cultural values as we do because we know what to expect. It can be difficult to relate with people from other cultures because of the differences that culture creates. Differences often lead to misunderstanding. I believe this is one of the biggest factors in why we have so much racial tension. It boils down to limited perspective and a lack of cultural appreciation. We need to learn to accept and appreciate differences.
We as a society need to alter the relationship we have with differences. I think that we put too much focus on surrounding ourselves with people who are like or similar to us. Either in looks, lifestyle, or beliefs. We want to be around people who have the same interests as we do, participate in the same activities, share the same broad worldview, and analyze problems and make decisions using the same process. This is all due to relatability and familiarity. We feel more comfortable relating to those we are already familiar with. I believe that humans are motivated by relatability. This is why so many people want to be around others who they can relate to on multiple levels.
This is certainly not a bad thing, having people who are in certain ways similar to you, is a great thing for many people. It is the way culture is developed. Culture is developed through similar ideas, traditions, customs, ways of teaching the next generation and a myriad of other things. There would be no culture if large groups of individuals didn’t have similar values, lifestyles, and beliefs. Similarities can also be a major factor in any effective relationship. It makes sense why people only want to closely associate with like-minded people. Comfort comes from familiarity which helps explain why people do it. We want to be comfortable and the most natural way to do that is by associating with people who are like us. We have all done it and most of us intentionally do it, while others subconsciously do it.
Similarities though, can also narrow our perspective and make us closed-minded. Most people do not like to converse or surround themselves with people who are different then they are. I believe people do not want to do this because it brings them out of their comfort zone. For the vast majority of people, getting of their comfort zone, is well…uncomfortable. It forces us to consider things we have previously not considered. The thought of expanding the mind and broadening horizons is very difficult to come to terms with for a lot of people. I also believe we tend to avoid differences because many people associate differences with conflict. There are certainly people who love conflict and enjoy seeking it out. But I tend to think that most people naturally want to avoid conflict as much as possible.
But is that really the reason?
I think it is much deeper than people simply not wanting to have to deal with new ways of living or disagreements and the potential for fall out or hurt feelings. Those things can happen but only if you let your emotions get the best of you and cloud your logical judgement.
I believe that most people do not know how to work through a disagreement/differences of perspective because their intentions are not in the right place. The end goal of a typical disagreement is to simply prove who is wrong and who is right. People will go to great lengths to try and prove that their point of view is the right one and the one that everyone should adopt. They are right and the other person’s perspective is completely wrong. What people do not understand is that two people who are having a disagreement over something can actually both be right.
The way we have been conditioned as humans, allows us to see the same things in a different way without one being wrong and one right. Take art for example, art is subjective. We all know the cliché saying “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” I believe this started by analyzing art. There were people who heavily criticized the work of Picasso and told him that his art sucks and looks horrible. He also had other people who thought his work was groundbreaking and breathtaking. It is not that one is right and one is wrong, it just means there are simple differences.
Let’s say you go into an art museum with someone and go up to a painting and ask them to describe what they think the art means. There is a very good chance that the two of you will have very different interpretations of what the art means and the significance of it. It is not that one of you is right and the other is wrong, you actually are both right. You see the same thing but you interpret it in a different way. By doing this you know have a broadened perspective and a deeper understanding of not only the art, but more importantly in the way that you see and understand things, and the thought process behind it.
Why we hate differences:
The issue is most people are limited by their personal biases, preconceived notions, and feelings about a cultural group or whatever the difference/disagreement is about. When faced with a disagreement of differences, if you are the type of person to disregard the opposing perspective and only focus on how right you are, you are likely very closed minded. A big part of being closed minded is not valuing differences.
As I mentioned earlier, we often avoid people who think differently than we do because we feel we cannot relate to them. By doing this you are limiting your perspective and closing yourself off to further discovery. Being closed minded means that you think your perspective is 100% right and there is no way you could be wrong. This attitude creates entitlement and apathy. Differences between people are both the greatest and easiest way we can add to our perspective, level of empathy, our knowledge base and most importantly, our understanding of reality.
A disagreement or difference should not be about who is right and who is wrong. I believe that differences should be worked out with the hope of finding the truth. The best and most accurate version of the truth. You cannot really understand something without seeing the full picture. We are unable to see the full picture without considering the perspective of others. Other people may have a different understanding of something, involving different facts while diagnosing the same problem. If you fail to respect their perspective, than you will not reach your level of maximum effectiveness because you are ignoring important details that could improve your decision making or understanding of something.
Even if you disagree with the opposing perspective it still helps you to understand their thought process Understanding of differences helps you gain a stronger appreciation for those who are different. It allows you to develop empathy. Not to mention, it adds to your level of knowledge. The more you know the more you are. I truly believe that, I don’t think there is such thing as useless knowledge. You need to have an understanding that you can consider an idea or perspective of another without adopting it for yourself. Even if you do not agree with something ,it doesn’t mean that you should be unaware of it. Because it could become true at some point.
I will say it again, the more you know about something and the more perspectives you consider, the more knowledgeable you will become. Valuing differences adds to your perspective and overall reality. Ignorance only comes from not knowing. When you develop empathy, and understanding, you become more appreciative of those you share differences with.
The dilemma is that so many people do not prioritize the truth. We don’t care about the real truth, we only care about our version of it. We would rather fight just to be right rather than actually find out the truth. It is easy for emotions to win over logic. Being open minded and having a desire to discover the truth is a great way to overcome emotional thinking and allowing yourself to logically think through things. It is very difficult for us as individuals to gain an understanding of the absolute truth on our own. We tend to either believe the first thing we see or hear. We fail to do any additional learning to try and gain a better and more clear picture of the truth.
No great problem was ever solved without the solver having a clear and deep understanding of the diagnosis. So many people try to provide treatment for something when they can’t even fully accurately diagnose the problem. Think if doctors never worked out differences in understanding because they just wanted to be right. If a doctor cannot accurately diagnose a patients symptoms, we will consult others who can help. A doctor would never prescribe something without first fully understanding the diagnosis. This would result in so many errors and even deaths. If a doctor didn’t have the proper diagnosis of the problem he may give the patient a remedy that is completely unrelated to his symptoms. Then the patient now has more problems, because his original problem has gone unfixed and the remedy he was given could cause damage somewhere else. This would be a disaster!
Solving a complex issue like racial tension, is something that will take time. Understanding and valuing differences seems like the most logical way to solve the problem. You cannot hate or be ignorant towards someone you know and understand. Only those you don’t know and are different than. When you value those differences, you can begin to appreciate the person who is different. How can you hate someone that you appreciate? Open your minds and use the fact that people are different to your advantage. Your perspective will expand and your knowledge will increase.
It is so important to get to the truth rather than just to be right. You are limiting yourself so much when you do this. When we are dealing with differences or disagreements, we should try to focus in on the areas where we differ far more than the areas in which we agree. The differences will help us get to the truth and in turn make us more knowledgeable and help us gain a better understanding of what is real. Things we agree on get us nowhere, when two people have the same opinion, one of them is unnecessary. Find the differences, embrace them and then work them out. Being able to work through differences is a highly necessary quality for any leader, team member, or simply anyone who wants to know the truth.
Jonathan McClure / The Rolling J
Previous Article – https://therollingj.net/3-ways-to-upgrade-your-life-for-free/
LinkedIn Profile – https://www.linkedin.com/in/jonathan-mcclure-0594aa17b/
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I couldn’t resist commenting
Thanks for your blog, nice to read. Do not stop.