We need to redefine the way we look at happiness. I have talked previously about how we are in a mental health crisis. This is not something that affects a few people, or is just a problem in America, this is a global problem. I would even categorize this is a global crisis. Global crises are very complex issue that have no one single root cause and the solution is both subjective and difficult to implement.
To effectively solve a global issue, it requires for everyone to be on the same page. It takes unity. Forget about race, religion, gender, age, beliefs, when a problem grips an entire world it takes higher level thinking and elimination of judgement and emotion to make significant progress. The solution to solving a global crisis is to first solve it on a national level. You cannot help everyone if you do not first help those around you? This allows you to build organically and let progress run its course. No one man can solve a universal issue, but one man can get the ball rolling and begin the snowball effect. It is sometimes amazing, watching progress like a runaway freight train. In order to make this happen, significant progress must be made, then momentum will carry it forward.
In order to fix this mental health crisis, I first have to analyze how it can be improved in as it pertains to America. There are many factors that go into achieving good mental health. Just like with our physical health, if we do not exercise and be somewhat conscious about what we eat, our physical health will not improve, and it will actually deteriorate. If we want to get in shape, we have to put the work in and do it again and again. You can’t just work out once or twice or eat an apple one time and expect to be in tip top physical shape. Our mental health is no different. If we don’t work on it and put in time and effort to improve it or get it to the point we want it to be, it will deteriorate. Our mental health is something that should be worked on and continuously improved. The end goal of working on our mental health is to achieve happiness. That is it. I believe it was Aristotle that said, the ultimate goal of life is happiness, or something along those lines. All I know is I agree with him, but is happiness something we actually achieve absolute mastery in? Is happiness really a destination? I feel that if we view happiness as a destination, once we reach it, we will lack the foresight on how to sustain it. I believe that if we fail to continuously work on our happiness, we won’t know how we can add on to it and continue to remain happy in perpetuity. If we do not constantly work for our happiness, it will only be subtracted and slowly regress over time. Please understand that we can still be happy while trying to find our happiness. Real happiness doesn’t just switch on when we find something that makes us happy out of nowhere. I think it is something that once we find, we must go even further. I believe that happiness is a constant journey which requires a never ending pursuit.
The pursuit of happiness along with life and liberty are three unalienable and undeniable rights given to us, found in the Declaration of Independence. These 3 rights are foundational pieces of our country and every citizen. These rights are promised to us and can never be taken away. These rights are not selective in who they apply to. These rights do not care about the color of your skin, your income level, or what your personal beliefs are. We have these things and it is up to us to utilize them in a way that makes the most sense to us. It is important to notice that those rights make no mention of promised happiness, but the pursuit or journey to find it. I believe this is because we define our own happiness. We choose whether or not to be happy. This is a choice that we are faced with each and every day. Just because you are happy today does not necessarily mean that you will be happy tomorrow. If tomorrow isn’t promised, then how can our happiness be? It is a process and a journey that we must continually search for. The journey to find happiness in itself will bring us happiness. Happiness is surely not promised to every man and woman. It is apparent when we turn on the news or go on social media. We are bombarded with greed, negativity, violence, disagreement, and lack of perspective. There are many people who act with evil intentions and intentionally do wrong to cause harm to others. The only sensible conclusion I can come away with is that those people are not truly happy. There are certainly other factors, but ultimately they do not have happiness in their minds and hearts that allow them to have perspective, optimism, positivity, and empathy. It is not that these people have never experienced some degree of happiness, they just never tried to find sustainable happiness. They never decided that happiness was worth the time and effort to find.
I think everyone has had the chance to experience some type of happiness, even if it was short lived. People find happiness all the time, but often times it only provides short term satisfaction. That will not satisfy the hunger of the soul. The soul needs process and it needs constant pursuit. Just like when we eat, we are not satisfied forever. We will need food again at some point if we want to live. The pursuit of happiness is no different. We can obtain happiness through possessions, relationships, and personal victories. These things all have the propensity to be short lived. These will not sustain our happiness. They may add to our happiness or act as a façade. They can only be added though, once we actually find our source of happiness.
Happiness is not a byproduct of our personal success. You shouldn’t only be happy when you’re making money, or buying a new car, or having the latest fashion, or having a significant other. Your circumstances absolutely cannot be the source of happiness. There is no substance in this, your self-esteem and self-concept is determined by worldly possessions other people’s opinions. You don’t care about what you think, you only care about what others think, and the way others think affects the way you think. This cannot be the way you define your happiness. I believe this is extremely toxic and can lead to lifelong feelings of frustration and regret. We should want good things to happen to us and have the opportunity to buy nice things. This should not however, affect our self-concept and our happiness. Happiness is its own entity. It is its own stratosphere. We must work on totally eliminating the bridge between happiness and circumstances. We have the ability to control our happiness at all times. We hold the master key, and it can only be stolen if we let it. We can also control our circumstances, but only to a certain degree. Majority of the time circumstances are going to play out with no regard to how we want them to play out.
I believe that our source of happiness should come through the connection we build with ourselves. I once heard that the connection with our self is our greatest and most valuable asset. The money in your bank account, or the car in your driveway, or the size of your home means nothing without the building and strengthening of the connection we have to ourselves. A monetary value cannot be placed on this asset, it is intangible and irreplaceable. No amount of money can help you gain a better understanding and knowing of yourself. This connection to ourselves is our internal WiFi. The same way in which the stronger your WiFi connection, the faster you are able to use the internet and get things done. It is no different with our internal connection. The stronger of connection we have, the more effective and efficient we will be. It is actually quite simple. Being happy is a great force in improving that connection and in turn, making us better people overall.
So how do we build that connection with ourselves? We must first turn inside. It is easy to become distracted by the external noise. Literally, we all have a device in our pocket that is an open door to endless distractions. I am in no way against smart phones, they are probably the single greatest invention so far of my lifetime. I am stating the obvious by saying they are extremely useful and generally make mine and everybody who owns one, life a whole lot easier. The down side is all the distractions. A quick phone check turns into an hour long browsing session. I really think the key to limiting distractions caused by our smart phones is by turning off notifications. Do we really need to be alerted every time we receive an email? Do we really need to know every time our favorite celebrity posts a tweet? Do we really need to know right away when someone we follow starts an Instagram live video? You get the point. The answer is absolutely hell no. We are spend too much time on our phones as is, we certainly don’t need to be reminded to check our phones. News and updates are meant for us to be informed, not distracted. Let me not get too sidetracked though. The point I am trying to make with this example is there are many distractions that keep us from harnessing the connection with ourselves. It is much more difficult to turn inward and listen to yourself if there are too many external noises and distractions at play.
When you turn inward, everything needs to get real quiet. I would even suggest meditation. It’s not something that will provide immediate and noticeable results. Over time, however, meditating consistently will put your mind more at peace, you will think clearer, and you may even see your patience and tolerance levels increase. We could all use some help in those areas. Meditation is a great tool for helping reduce the brain chatter and allowing your body and mind to relax and your imagination run free. It is amazing what can transpire when you allow your imagination to run wild with no limitations. You may find answers that you didn’t even know you were looking for. If you are trying to find answers, let your imagination run its race. Don’t place any limiting beliefs and constraints on your imagination. Allow it to do what it is meant to do. When you get to this place, your imagination can become your ultimate source for answers and plans to accomplish whenever you set out in your mind.
Another process in building the connection with yourself is having your inner voice be one of pure positivity and optimism. You have to do your best to shield off any negativity and pessimistic thinking. You must do this by training your subconscious mind. Feed yourself with positivity and optimistic thoughts. Consume as much positivity as you can and reflect on it. If you reflect on those positive thoughts internalize them, your subconscious will hold onto them. You have to talk to your subconscious mind. It must be positive self-talk. Whenever you come across a negative thought you must use that voice to tell your subconscious, you want those thoughts eliminated. Stop yourself before you let a negative thought fully form. To strengthen your inner voice, you must be honest with yourself and look at all your problems as your own. You must first own up to them before you can put them behind you. It is a must to eliminate blaming of others. It may be difficult to blame your difficulties on yourself but you will may able to overcome them much quicker and more easily find a solution. You must be able to engage in honest conversation with yourself. You cannot be quick to judgement and must be able to look at problems from various perspectives. It is imperative not to judge yourself too hard or put too much pressure on yourself. Any past transgressions must be acknowledged and improved upon, but cannot be dwelled upon. The past is behind you so focus only on the betterment of yourself. We can gain perspective by using empathy to understand others. When you are empathetic towards others you can actually gain a better understanding of who you are. You are not limited by your personal biases and the more you understand about why people do the things they do, and why they are the way they are, you gain a much more broadened perspective. We can add to our knowledge base when we gain a true understanding of others. The more we know and understand, the more we are. This can be acquired through empathy. Instead of placing judgement, seek to understand. It will be extremely beneficial. This is how we can actually gain experience without actually experiencing. When we have the ability to analyze things from multiple points of view, our ability to problem solve and decision make is enhanced. We can get a better gage on how our decisions not only affect us but those around us as well. We must consider the externalities of our decisions. We can’t only think in how things affect us personally.
The key to finding happiness is by first realizing that happiness is the ultimate goal. Then in order to find it, you must look for it. Our happiness if found with the journey itself. On this journey we will discover people, places, ideas, and lessons that help us find the things that make us feel good and bring us joy. This is how we gain a better understanding of things that drive us and allow us to find our personal freedom.
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This is great. The people I know who need to read this, will bail b/c it is too long. Anyway to break it into parts leaving the reader eager to get the next part?
Hey Cynthia! I appreciate the feedback and wanted to thank you for taking the time to read this post and support the Rolling J. I have been trying to shorten up the posts a little bit to make them a little easier and more convenient to read but at the same time I certainly don’t want to leave out anything valuable for the reader. Going forward I will try to make some of the transitions a little more enticing, so the reader will be motivated to read all the way to the end. Once again thanks for the support, and please share! It would mean so much.
– Jonathan McClure, The Rolling J
To understand the difference between happy and unhappy couples, Dr. Gottman and Robert Levenson began doing longitudinal studies of couples in the 19. They asked couples to solve a conflict in their relationship in 15 minutes, then sat back and watched. After carefully reviewing the tapes and following up with them nine years later, they were able to predict which couples would stay together and which would divorce with over 90% accuracy.
That is really fascinating, I would love to check that out. It really makes a big difference for people when they try to find their happiness and in this case, doing so with a partner, rather than waiting for it to come to them. Great insight! Thanks for sharing and supporting The Rolling J. It would mean so much to have your continued support and share with your friends.
– Jonathan McClure/The Rolling J
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